


Why Kirk and Spock are Emotionally Compatible: An Essay on Tetrachromacy

by Saucery



Series: Space Husbands [12]
Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Asphyxiation, Character Study, Compatibility, Emotional Baggage, Essays, Fannish Swan Song, GIF-Assisted Squeeage, Hedonism, M/M, Meta, Mindbreak, Psychoanalysis, Psychology, Repression, Repression vs. Hedonism, Sexual Tension, Sexualized Violence, Slash, Slut vs. Prude, Squee, Their Love Is So
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-06
Updated: 2011-06-06
Packaged: 2017-10-20 04:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saucery/pseuds/Saucery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why hold an interminable meeting in a room where you could be having an orgy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Kirk and Spock are Emotionally Compatible: An Essay on Tetrachromacy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amanda Warrington](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Amanda+Warrington).



> Credit for the GIFs used in this essay goes to the various Tumblr accounts linked to from those very GIFs (just click on 'em!). My unending thanks to these paragons of fannish love. And here I was, roaming the ice planet of my crystalline fandom, GIFless... If it wasn't for these GIF-makers taking me into warm-lit ~~Canadian shacks~~ love-caves and melding with me, I would be utterly lost.

One fine day, Amanda and I were exchanging inexplicably long, fannish swan-songs on _Reboot_ , and then she linked me to [this essay](http://seperis.livejournal.com/737263.html) by Seperis. That essay _ate my brain_. It got me thinking about a lot of things - about Spock's psychology, and Kirk's psychology, and whether they're really compatible. (I mean, of _course_ they're compatible, but the question is, _how_ are they compatible?)

Something told me that the answer lay in their emotional constitutions. I began categorizing what really distinguished Kirk's and Spock's handling of emotion in _Reboot_ , given that they _are_ both violently emotional, albeit one in a steam-geyser way (constantly letting off) and another in a volcanic way (building up pressure). Given the fact that they're both volatile and more than a little dangerous, are they compatible or are they not? Shouldn't there be some _balance_ , going on in there? Or is the double-or-nothing approach actually _better_ , in some harebrained way?

My theory is that mutual volatility _is_ the better option. (Why, yes, I _am_ harebrained. Why do you ask?) Let's dub this thesis 'the theory of tetracrhomatic mating, and why it is a damn good thing'. In the explication of this thesis, I shall ramble much and squee often, but please, bear with me.

Ahem.

The thing is, Spock can't deal with _complex_ emotions. With the - vagueness and ambiguity that most Humans live with, day-to-day. Humans only rarely experience a single, powerful emotion; mostly they're this... muddled, dull, muted mess of things, resentment/duty/love or boredom/apathy/irritation or attraction/anxiety/affection, and it must fucking _suck_ to be a touch-telepath around them, just saying. I wouldn't be surprised if Spock pulled on gloves one of these days à la Bester from _Babylon 5_ , which I certainly wouldn't mind, because while his ~~pornographically~~ naked hands are beautiful ~~and pornographic~~ , the thought of sleek black leather _on_ those hands does... things to me. And the thought of Jim leaning in to peel those gloves off - with his _teeth_ \- is...

[](http://halfvulcan.tumblr.com)  
  
Spock approves.  


Okay, getting off-topic. Uh. Basically, what I'm saying is that Spock experiences 'primary colors' in terms of emotions - pure rage, pure lust (a penny for your Pon Farr, Commander?), pure love, pure grief - but finds the quicksand of emotional complexity fucking _compromising_ , beyond the powerful emotions that are too powerful to control, anyway. Spock's half-Vulcan; he totally _does_ need to repress all the way to the Nile and back. But he _can't_ repress the violent outbreaks precisely because they are _outbreaks_ , seeded in years of DENY DENY DENY. The little saplings of emotion have been thoroughly crushed beneath the (admittedly sexy) boot-heel of Vulcan logic, their tenderness ground into the rich soil that is Spock's subconscious, from which (understandably) arise Beasts of the Deep - the powerful, _pure_ emotions that are distilled by years of dedicated elimination of those normal-range feelings, those pallid things better known as 'sentiments'. In the absence of the - moderating? Contextualizing? _Acclimatizing_? - effect of these small emotions, these half-hearted, unimpressive debutantes that nobody ever dances with for _long_ at the ball, but everybody ends up dancing with, anyway - Spock becomes an emotional extremist incapable of recognizing subtleties. He becomes an absolutist; a purist. It's all or nothing - absolute logic or absolute HULK-SMASH!

  
[ ](http://annie-banks.tumblr.com)  


These eruptions of emotional lava lead to our much-loved moments of Spockbreak ( _way_ better than plain old mindbreak!), like that incident of ~~erotic~~ asphyxiation on the _Enterprise_ 's bridge, or that incident of I'm-a-tiny-but-enraged-baby-sehlat-and-I-will-claw-out-your- _eyes_ incident from Spock's disturbingly adorable-yet-traumatic childhood. (Spock makes me hyphenate. What can I say.) Spock cannot abide those moments of ambiguity that most of us learn to live with; he fucking _dashes their heads against the wall_. He will either completely _own_ the situation with his flawless logic, rising like a dark and glittering and ever-so-phallic obelisk to cast its shadow over us all - or he will impressively lose his shit, becoming a sort of thermonucleic ground-zero incarnate, and you had better get the fuck _out_ of his immediate radius or you will be _purged_. He's like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel, with only two narratives and only one possible ending: a) be killed by my mind or b) be killed by my heart. Oh, look, you're dead. The end.

Is that binary or is that binary? The guy needs some serious deconstructing, Derrida-style. Lucky for him, Kirk's there to offer some charitable (heh, no, not confrontational at _all_ ) deconstruction. Uhura comes _close_ , in a much subtler way, to undoing a little bit of Spock's pathological dichotomy - but he is ultimately puzzled by her attempts, although he does cherish them, because even though they're subconsciously frightening ( _ambiguity! Argh!_ ) they're _beautiful_ , like she is, and at some level, he recognizes the value of such things, although, really, no. (Hey. We're talking about dichotomy, here. The inability to tolerate ambiguity - to _be_ ambiguous.) Spock _wants_ to be more Human, but really not - the way he wanted to be proud of his mother, but really wasn't, except that he _was_ , sincerely and ferociously, except that he secretly wished she wasn't Human at all.

That core ambiguity in Spock's psyche is the source of his internal 'split' - and I'm resisting the use of any word prefaced with "schiz-", here - which is also why he cannot _tolerate_ ambiguity, especially in _Reboot_ , because it takes him back to his core what-am-I trauma which was all about uncomfortable and incomplete halves, all about ambiguities and impurities, when all he wanted, after all, was to be _pure_. Like everyone wanted him to be. Like he could have been. If only... (My father wasn't a race-traitor; my mother was a Vulcan; I didn't have all this _stuff_ inside me that my native culture doesn't teach me how the fuck to _deal_ with, which makes me want to claw their _faces_ off except that I can't, because it's _illogical_. End result: Learn how to say 'Live long and prosper' while _really_ meaning 'Die slowly and tortuously'. That's the maximum level of ambiguity permissible - which isn't even an ambiguity anymore, because it's a _dichotomy_. Spoken vs. meant. Inside vs. outside. I cannot tolerate your sameness; therefore _I will murder it_. I will reduce any an all ambiguities into clearly defined - and destructible - binaries. If you give me an ambiguity-coconut, I will split it into mutually exclusive halves. You give me a universe full of maybes, and I will fucking _cleave the universe with my axe_. ~~Of logic.~~ )

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


So. Spock's emotionally stunted. Selectively color-blind. Tetrachromatic. Whatever. He can _only_ see the primary colors. Almost everyone else (that is Human, anyway) is living in a goddamn unfathomable rainbow. He doesn't _get_ the muted gold of Sulu's regard for Kirk, tinged equal parts with admiration and incredulity; he doesn't get the blue-lilac of Uhura's hesitant sympathy.

But he _does_ get Kirk.

Because Kirk's emotionally stunted, too.

Kirk's just... bizarre, insofar as psychological profiles go, but I'm pretty sure there's got to be at least _some_ neurological reason for his being so damn primary-colors, too. He's like a kid. Well, he _is_ a kid. A kid that hasn't ever really stopped _driving cars off cliffs_. (Which is why driving starships into wormholes was a natural career choice, really.) He's like an incredibly pretty, gilt-embossed, adrenaline-scented invitation to Death - set to self-destruct immediately after Death reads it. (Why, yes, I'm gonna get beat by a bunch of guys 1.7 times bigger 'an me. And I'm gonna love it. I'm gonna love it when a Vulcan _three times stronger_ than me chokes me like a little bitch, not just because he's hot but because he's _choking me like a little bitch_ , and _hello_ , Other Side. Been a while since I last saw ya.)

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


This guy is... just incomprehensible, from a normal Human standpoint, which is to say he's just as incomprehensible as Spock is. Maybe he's _more_ incomprehensible than Spock, because hey, at least Spock's _half-Vulcan_. Where's the Klingon in _your_ ancestral tree, Jim? Seriously. Because you sure _act_ like it. (Except that Klingons have complex codes of conduct and deeply interconnected families and actual attempts at goddamn dignity, and at least some of their bravado is ceremonial, but in _your_ case, yeah, no. The bravado is _all_ real. And your family's about as emotionally bonded as toothpicks scattered on a diner's floor. And you don't know the _meaning_ of the word 'dignity'. Or of the phrase, 'codes of conduct'. In fact, if someone's stupid enough to give you an inch, you'll stick 'em with a mile. And laugh while you're doing it.)

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


To Spock, Kirk is the equivalent of a red flag to a, heh, bull. (A tetrachromatic bull, let's say, rather than one that's _completely_ color-blind.) Spock can _see_ Kirk, clearly and totally, in a way he can't see anyone else. Why? Because Kirk is a walking primary color. When he's happy, he's _happy_ , in a champagne-bubbles, riding-unicorns kind of way (except that Kirk's so far from being a virgin that even _horses_ would have trouble carrying him, let alone unicorns - which is why he makes do with sexy and experienced motorbikes). When he's sad, he's all SADFACE, like, you could look him up under that word in the dictionary. When he's horny, he's _h0r-nay_ , which is practically all the time, even (or especially) during beat-downs by physically superior foes (which bears thinking about, in, uh, certain _other_ contexts). When he's angry, it's with an almost rapturous abandon that makes him beautiful to watch, but probably also alarming to be on the receiving end of (um, uh? Sex thoughts, go _away_!). And he _has no fear_ , literally, which means that he can jump off almost anything - including a ship thousands of feet above a planet - and he literally _can_ give a 'flying fuck', which I would totally pay money to see (if not to participate in, because, oh, _god_ , no, freefall is _not_ my idea of perfect coitus) - _and_ he can goad an already-fragile Vulcan into utterly brutalizing him in front of their shipmates. On the rare occasion that he _does_ experience fear (um, facing down a giant man-eating snow-beast?), it's still a pure, exhilarating whiff of _sensation_ , undiluted by duller things like cowardice or indecision - it's _electric_ , and immediately translates into action. Decisions are made; actions are taken; instantly, terror transforms into ecstasy. There is no middle ground. For Kirk, _movement_ is where it's at; being the proverbial rolling stone, taking all the goddamn dents he can get, _reveling_ in them. He won't stop to hesitate. He will _skull-fuck_ your hesitation.

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


Kirk's, like, the very embodiment of kinetic energy; there's no 'potential' about him. It's all happening. Right _now_. Half-assed, ambiguous emotions can take a fucking hike. Kirk doesn't tolerate them for long, because they're _boring_ , they're a waste of fucking _time_. He doesn't 'repress' those emotions like Spock does, so he's not ignorant about them; he just thinks they're a waste of psychosexual space. Where stuff could be _happening_. (Why hold an interminable meeting in a room where you could be having an orgy?) It's like Kirk read _The Power of Now_ and _Suicide Tactics: The Kamikaze Pilots During World War II_ and kind of... merged them together in his head, into some kind of perpetual zen of badassery. (And occasional lame-itude, because, you know, flying by the seat of your pants can land you in some pretty lame situations - like hiding under an Orion girl's bed or _walking into bulkheads_. Like _ow_.)

Spock has lightning-fast logic; Kirk has lightning-fast instinct. They've both got ways of compensating for their lack of internal ambiguity - for their lack of emotional subtlety and the sort of intuitive insight that _comes_ from such subtlety. So, yeah, they're both emotionally tetrachromatic. But they're both _decisive_ , and may the Qs help you if you get in the 'way' of their 'decisions'. (They aptly demonstrate this _on each other_ , several times, by, say, exiling the other to an ice-planet or using his _mother's death_ to completely fucking emotionally destroy him.) Spock represses ambiguity, like so much volcanic lava; Kirk purges it, like so much jettisoned garbage. Neither of them can tolerate gray areas. Or pastel shades. Or _hues_. Because they live in primary colors.

And _that_ , infidels and gentlefolk, is why they're perfect for each other. Why they _need_ each other, and, at some level, _understand_ each other. Everybody else is dull-brown to their absolute red-and-black. In Kirk's case, it is only _after_ his meld with Spock Prime that he realizes what an emotional minefield his _own_ Spock is - and that's when he really starts _liking_ him, you'll notice. (You _feel_. You feel like _I_ do - as _vehemently_ as I do. You're my kinda guy. You'll crack skulls with me. You'll dare death with me. And you've _love_ me, even beyond life, even beyond death. Because you don't do things by halves - and neither do I. If we stand together, we will fucking _be_ the Great Wall of China.) That knowledge is also how he _destroys_ Spock, at least temporarily, by taking him out of command - but there's less of a victorious 'ha ha, got hold of your weakness _now_ ' feeling to that moment than there is an ecstatic recognition: 'I _know_ you, I _have_ you, I see you for what you are _-_ you're like _me_ , all molten and _hot_ inside, and yes, I will fucking _cut_ you if that's what it takes to feel your heat.'

Just. Wow. It's this incredible moment, this feeling of finally meeting one's destined partner, one's destined _equal_. And in that moment, we can already see what Uhura, in all her lovely carefulness, can't get out of Spock - can't _give_ him - because she can't go as _far_ as Spock can, as deep and _hot_ , more searing than the fires of Vulcan, more vicious and dedicated than she has it in her to offer, more intense than she has the ability to _take_. She doesn't live in a world of primary colors; they'd blind her, or frighten her, or - no, because she's brave, they wouldn't frighten her - they'd just _worry_ her. For _his_ sake. And she'd try to fix them - to help, somehow - to allay that flaming chaos - but Spock's already _had_ a lifetime of people trying to contain him, trying to _cool_ him, and here, finally, in Jim, he's got someone that will do the exact opposite. Someone that will rip him _free_ , that won't take no for an answer, that won't let Spock get _away_ with repress-deny-repress all the time, that won't shield Spock from himself but will expose him for what he is and will _celebrate_ it, with him and _for_ him. And it's. It's _perfect_ , seeing what they could mean to each other - what they _will_ mean to each other. Just. Uh. Okay, I need to calm down.  Somebody, hand me my inhaler.

In a message to Amanda, I'd said that one of the things I'd loved about _Reboot_ was that I could easily ship Kirk/Spock and see them as the _same_ Kirk/Spock I'd shipped before - but after thinking about it, I realize that I was wrong. I mean, I can certainly see them as the same _pairing_ , but they're a different _reality_ of that pairing - an alternate reality, of course - because both Kirk and Spock are different people, now, with more fisticuffs and fights in them, and more devil-may-care deadly beauty, and when they stand _together_ they're stunning in a whole different way, possibly because they're absolutely terrifying to their enemies, or possibly because they _don't_ calm each other down - they goad each other _on_. And you can _see_ it.

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


Kirk and Spock from _Star Trek: The Original Series_ had this kind of exquisite, yin-yang balance going - mesmerizing and gratifying to watch, yes, but what Kirk and Spock from _Reboot_ have going is a whole other ball game, not so much balance but fiery _completion_ , like two red stars colliding in the darkness of space. It's beautiful. It's scary. But it's also just _radiant_. And titillating in ways beyond the sexual, if you know what I mean; there's this visceral, crackling intensity between them that makes you _want_ to see a goddamn throwdown, even if it ends in probable near-death. In the original series, it broke my _heart_ when that happened - when Spock went all _plak tow_ on Jim and thereby ended up (apparently) losing him - but in _Reboot_? I'm freaking _praying_ for the next time they get to be all up-close and personal. _Violently_ personal. Because, see, the violence within each of them becomes _catharsis_ when they're together, and it's - it's got this sense of incredible _release_ that's bordering on orgasmic, or maybe even _is_ orgasmic, given Kirk's expression after the - yeah. Um.  Erotic asphyxiation. (My god, can you _imagine_ the bruises on Jim's neck? How many stories have been written about him wrapping his own fingers around those bruises later that night and, uh, _touching_ himself? Surely a lot. ~~LINK ME TO THEM.~~ )

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


The thing is, Spock and Kirk can _take_ each other. And no, slashers, I don't just mean it in _that_ way. (Although - yes. That, _too_.) The fact is that they can take each others' intensity and _return_ it, actually _return_ it without trying to censor it, control it, restrain it, avoid it or run away from it. And I'm not afraid of a throwdown _because_ I know that they can both take it. And _enjoy_ it. Seriously, what a damn shame would it have been if two people so alike hadn't found each other? THANK YOU, ~~ABRAMS~~ GOD.

In _Reboot_ , Spock and Uhura have a wonderful relationship - loving, giving and comforting - but Spock is _careful_ with Uhura, because Uhura's careful with _him_. And who can blame her for being careful? You know. Like you'd be careful with an explosive compound. That you happened to be in love with. Sure, you'd throw yourself on top of it, but you'd also want to _disarm_ it, because even if you've learned to love the bomb, _it's still a bomb_. But _two_ bombs? Don't have to worry as much about hurting each other - of being themselves only at the cost of losing the other. Spock won't have to hold back with Kirk. And it's not _just_ the catharsis. Even after their episodes of sexplode, when they're having moments of calm togetherness, it'll be real _togetherness_ , not just, you know, 'being together'.

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


We can see instances of that already, in the latter half of _Reboot_ , when they go about saving the day and are so wonderfully, perfectly in sync. They don't _have_ to worry about outpacing each other; they have a deep, instinctive _faith_ that the other will keep up. With his leaps of magnificent instinct, Kirk keeps up with Spock's leaps of magnificent logic; when Kirk reaches for a phaser, Spock nerve-pinches an opponent; and when they return to the ship, Spock is at Kirk's shoulder, and they'll always share (are _already_ sharing) moments of such complete, unspoken communication that words are kind of passé. And this is - what - _how_ long after they first meet each other? Not that long. Not even a _year_. But they're practically already _pre-bonded_ for your fannish convenience, in a manner that is frankly undeniable. And that's not _love_ , not _yet_ , but it's by Jove a more solid foundation for it than the well-intentioned subterfuge that emotionally incompatible people often indulge in. (This would upset you if you knew about it; I probably shouldn't tell you about it. Or: You're hurting right now, so I will comfort you, but I can't hurt _with_ you, not as deeply or jaggedly as you're hurting, because I don't know _how_.) With Kirk and Spock, emotional compatibility is not an issue. They're both tetrachromatic. They won't let each other down. Because they won't _back_ down. They'll keep going at it, keep being honest with each other, even if it makes them raw and bloody, because it will also make them precious and _whole_ , and sacred to each other, because they are both _known_.

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


And that's. That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what great _romances_ are about - the grand space ballads of Klingon warrior-love - not the quiet, soothing unions that so many of us know, but the stark, alien heights of untapped emotion - the depths of joyous anguish, the breadths of endless hope. Never containing and never contained - eternally feral and eternally sweet, never parted, never alone.

  
[ ](http://startrekgifs.tumblr.com/tagged/Reboot)  


  


* * *

**fin.**  


**Author's Note:**

> _Tetrachromacy_ is the ability to see four primary colors. (Most people can see only three.) It might seem strangely antithetical to talk of this ability to see an extra color as a _dis_ ability in terms of Kirk's and Spock's emotional sensibilities, but I would argue that it makes perfect sense, because instead of seeing shades and subtleties and generalities, they can only see clearly distinct colors. The more x-chromatic an individual is (say, pentachromatic, which is a step further), the more 'primary colors' they can see; therefore, they have a reduced ability to experience the duller, more muted, more undecided colors; the world is fractal-sharp and almost painfully distinct. Not for them the softer pastels, the indeterminate hues; they live in a world of crystal-bright primary colors, almost blinding in their intensity. (It's like standing really close to a high-definition television screen; the pixels stand out in sharper relief.) In fact, rather than just stopping at tetrachromacy, I'd be tempted to call Kirk and Spock _super_ chromats, but there's no such medical term indicating an ability to see an _unlimited_ number of primary colors, so I might as well stick to tetrachromacy, which is a well-known phenomenon and a documented fact.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and the 'Amanda' that I have conversed with is not actually Spock's Mom. (That would've been awkward. But also helpful, to have his _Mom's_ insights into his psychology ~~and his penchant for asphyxiation~~!) No, the Amanda of whom I speak is [this delightful creature](http://awarrington.livejournal.com/) from LiveJournal. Bless.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Jovenshire and Sohinki: A Meta](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8921587) by [Stelia22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stelia22/pseuds/Stelia22)




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